MIXED EMOTIONS....

Strange isn't it, how many emotions you can feel in one day. Yesterday I had to attend my tribunal. Over the last few weeks this has played on my mind, resulting in quite a few sleepless nights and feeling low.
Without going into too much detail, I won. The people on the panel were not the monsters I had been led to believe, they were very polite and perfect gentlemen. The women who 's case was previous to mine came out in tears, saying how awful they had been. Maybe they saw the fear etched into my face and the shaking of my hands, as I sat before them, I don't know but I have no complaints.

So this morning when I woke up, I felt like a ton weight had been removed from around my neck. I only have my job and the operation to sort out and hopefully my life will get back to some sort of normality. Then my mobile phone buzzed there was a message from my soul sister and best friend of 17yrs Akelamalu. 'LOOK ON MY BLOG YOU HAVE WON AN AWARD'. At that time Math has disconnected the computer to install wireless. The good man is doing this for me so that I can blog when I come out of hospital and can't sit in the study.

So I phoned her, all excited to tell me what I had won. She refused to tell me, (she did, even after fake tears) until I could view it for myself.

Now not many of you will believe this but I am quite an impatient mare at times, I know your shocked to hear that, but its true.

Anyway I digress, the wireless system is still under construction, so I have had to nip around to my friend and neighbour to use her computer.

Excitedly I fumbled with the keyboard, in anticipation of what my award would be. Then suddenly it appeared, Rockin' Girl Blogger. Now how cool is that, and she actually said some very kind words about me, not anything like the things she says to my face (joking). I felt all warm and fluffy Purrrrr, purrrrrrrr, thank you my friend I love you.

The rules for the 'Rockin' Girl Blogger' award state that if you're tagged, you get this spiffy little badge on your post and then you tag five other chicks who you think ROCK.

So, I have now got to award five fellow Rockin' Girl Bloggers, which is very hard because I think you are all fantastic , so please forgive me if you are not on my list, this time anyay!

La bellina mammina. A busy working mum of three boys, her husband often works away, so her life is run at a hectic pace. There haven been many ups and downs for her, but she always manages to share these with grace and humour.

Cathy's resurrection corner. I look forward to my visits here, never sure what I'm going to find. She has wit and humour, followed with compassion and feeling. She is from the UK ad now lives in Greece with her family. If you love the unexpected pay a visit to this very word smart lady.

Thoughts usually with attitude. Libby is someone I admire, she shows strength and courage everyday. She never complains about any of her own problems, but will strongly voice her opinions on the shortcomings of the world. You will find humour in her post, as she shares past and present memories.

Twaddle and everyday rubbish. Marmie is a very hectic woman, as well as bringing up her adorable sons, she is a child minder, chief bottle washer and home maker. Every whaif and stray finds a welcome at her door. She has a duck called Janet, and collects unusual skulls (yes skulls)! I get stomach ache from laughing at the antic's she gets up to in her whirlwind life.

The southern view. If you love flowers this is the place to go. Nea has a wonderful garden and is very knowledgeable about her plants. Another of her talents is the photography she displays on her posts. Along with all these skills, she shares stories about her family and friends. Almost forgot, there is plenty of wildlife around her garden which doesn't bother her at all not even snakes!!!!!

Would each award winner please nominate five other Rockin' girls for the award....

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Finally, I paid a visit whilst I had my hands on a computer, to my friend and blogging buddie Annelisa. Her very close and dear friend passed away yesterday morning, after putting up a very brave fight against cancer. I would like to ask for you to spare a moment, a word, a prayer or a thought for Annelisa, her friend Julia and her family, thank you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON....

Its hard to remember back 25yrs ago. I remember princess Diana and myself being pregnant at the same time. This was a bit hard to compete with, she always looked stunning and me, well I just looked sort of round and bloated. In fairness I was never sick, I felt it on many occasions, but I never hurled!!!!

My first newspaper photo

My appetite was tremendous, don't know about eating for two, I ate enough to feed an Army and their horses.
I was told after my accident that having children would be unlikely, my pelvis was so badly fractured they said I would never go full term.

1st family photo, just look at that tash on Math yuck!!!

Therefore, once the hospital declared I was pregnant, I was told to rest and I had to visit them monthly up to six months, then weekly there after. It was decided that as soon as baby's lungs were developed, they would have me in hospital for an elected cesarean.

I honestly felt as fit as a fiddle, but did as I was told, to look after this precious load.

The one thing I do remember, is that my mum was away on holiday, Math parents also.
When I made my weekly visit to the hospital one time, they decided that the time was right. I would be admitted on the 20th June and my cesarean carried out on the 21st.

The morning of my operation came, and I rang Math to tell him they wanted to do more tests, and therefore my baby would be coming to me in the afternoon. Math asked me if I'd see the news, to which I replied "no". He said "you didn't want this to happen, but princess Diana has gone into labour, she went into hospital this morning". Well there was nothing I could do, only think that maybe she would have a long labour and have her baby tomorrow.

Well 2 o'clock came, and gowned and ready for the theatre, MATH was given strict instructions that, because he would be the first to see and hold my baby, that when I came round from the anaesthetic, he must be smiling, and therefore I'd know everything was OK.
Several things went wrong during my operation, but as you know, none of that mattered to me, just so long as my baby was fit and well.

When I did come round Math was crying, but he was quick to tell me that everything was fine. He placed my baby boy beside me, all 6lbs and 7 ounces (they said he would be small taken early, but I was pleased with that weight).

My baby was beautiful, a mass of black hair and dark skin, like his mummy. This was the most wonderful gift I was ever to have and my love was instant. I never thought I could love him more, but each day I have him, it grows and grows.

The nurse then came over and said that the future King of England had also been born. I hoped Diane was as delighted as me, for we both had our prince's.

The nurse said the press wanted to take some photos and would I mind. I didn't care how I looked, I just wanted to show my baby to everyone who cared.


We had lots of freebies, flowers, silver spoons, baby toiletries, a beautiful Nottingham lace christening robe, too many gifts to mention.

It was a week before our families came back from there hols, so Math and I had a room in the hospital all to ourselves. We sat and stared and held and loved this bundle of joy, before we had to share.

So my darling son, Happy 25th Birthday to you. I' m sure you know how much I love you and how very proud of you I am. May all your dreams come true, and good health and happiness always be at your door............
Love your 'Mummykins' xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Click on the sign.

DOUBLE RAINBOW...

DOUBLE RAINBOW

Driving along I look up,

and there it was_

A double rainbow.

Mouth open in wonderment,

Your message Got through:

"Don't forget to hold on to hope"

And you said it twice, To be sure I knew.

Amazing God of colour and light!

Creator of fractals and all things bright........

ORGANISATION.........

Just a short post today, I've a few things to sort out this week. My tribunal is on Friday so I've some preparation work to do for that. I must admit I am a little stressed about it, my friends think I'm quite confidant, but its just a charade. When I have to face people and speak up for myself, I never seem to have the strength I do when I'm supporting others.

Some good news my appointment to see the consultant is on the second of July, pre ops should follow the week after, so it looks like I will be going in for my operation between the 7th and 12th of July. So I have to buy new PJs and other bits and bobs I'll need. I've been told by a friend of mine, that she thinks the rooms at the hospital are connected up to the net. So although I might not feel up to posting for the first few days, I can have a surf around to see what my blogging buddie's are up to.

Well I better go and sort through the pile of paper work and at least try and make some sense of the legal jargon they throw at you. I suppose its a mental way of recycling!!!!!

FAMILY WEEKEND

Had a great weekend, but am slightly hungover this morning, I have had my alcohol units for the next month I'm ashamed to say (but it was fun).

Nat and Sophie arrived about five Saturday night, we cracked open the first bottle of champagne at about half past.

We enjoyed our meal, drinking more wine.

More champagne more food


After our meal we sat in the lounge and lit a log fire, can you believe it June and it was so cold.

We had brandy with our coffee's, and more brandy as we chatted until the early hours of the morning. Nat kept throwing logs on the fire (its a man thing) as we reminisced about the past, how he'd spend his birthday whilst away on holiday.

We finally got to bed I think about three.

Goodness what a riotous lot we look

Sunday morning, bacon butties and several cups of tea later, the four of us got ready and went to Maths parents to give his dad his Fathers day card and present.

His mother opened a bottle of wine and a the men had a beer.

We then made our way to the local pub for Sunday lunch, my son ordered more wine with the meal.

Arrived home, Nat presented his dad with his Fathers day gift, a camera and a bottle of champagne. Which he insisted we drank, whilst taking some practice shots with the camera.

More food and drink followed, at which by this point I was looking forward to my bed.

Monday morning, early rise for everyone Nat needs to drop Sophie of at work before he drives to Northampton. Math has to be in work early he has a day of meetings.

I wave them all off, I look around at the mess, pots glasses, their bedroom etc. But whats that I hear calling? Aaaaah! my bed, maybe just ten more minutes!!!!!!!!