BRUM BRUM..

Yay! look what I'm 'fully automatic', well OK not me but my new car is. The two cars we have are manual, therefore I'm unable to drive them. That's has been one of the hardest things to
accustomise to, after years of being able to just jump in the car and go where I pleased.
It is so frustrating having to be reliant on others for transportation, and poor Math has to do all the running around.

Click in the link in the picture.

As soon as I've had my operation, or I can get my medication down to a level I'd be safe on the roads, I will be mobile again. Its fantastic, there are little 'doofa's' for this and that and the seat raises to allow me to get into the car without grimacing. I am so thrilled.

The lady who helped us purchase the new car was so helpful as well. I know people say "well they are on commission", but she went beyond the call of duty. She took into account my disability when showing me the new cars, pointing out many options that hadn't even crossed my mind. She even hurried the delivery date, keeping me up to speed (funny ha ha) with how things were progressing.

So Debbie, here is a big thank you. I asked if I could put you in my blog and you seemed quite keen, so here you are, handing over the paperwork and showing me how all the nik-naks work. It was really windy and cold, but look at that big stupid grin on my face (not the most flattering photo I've ever had taken).

FRIDAY FLASH 55 - FAMOUS WOMEN

Sitting here proud and poised, how my heart aches no one knows.
Albert how could you leave me, with these numerous responsibilities;
children to rear, a country to rule.

Alone in my bed not having you to caress and hold me.
Totally in black, I will spend my days.
Until at heavens gate we meet again..





Queen Victoria (1819-1901)
Victoria was the daughter of Edward, the Duke of Kent and Princess Victoria of Saxe-Coburg.
She was born in Kensington Palace in London on May 24th, 1819. Edward died when Victoria was but eight months old, upon which her mother enacted a strict regime that shunned the courts of Victoria's uncles, George IV and William IV.
Victoria became Queen at age eighteen, but her first years as Regent were
under the guidance of the Prime Minister, Lord Melbourne. By 1850 she had exerted her own control and vision, which came to define the next fifty
years in Great Britain as the "Victorian Era". She was given the title of Empress of India in 1876. Her reign was the longest of any British monarch and coincided with the Industrial Revolution during which the British Empire reached its zenith in prosperity, and world influence. She was grandmother of Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany. On Feb 10th, 1840, only three years after taking the throne, Victoria took her first vow and married her cousin, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha.
Their relationship was one of great love and admiration. Together they
bore nine children - four sons and five daughters: Victoria, Bertie, Alice, Alfred, Helena, Louise, Arthur, Leopold, and Beatrice.




Prince Albert replaced Melbourne as the dominant male influence in
Victoria's life. She was thoroughly devoted to him, and completely
submitted to his will. Victoria did nothing without her husband's approval. Albert assisted in her royal duties. He introduced a strict decorum in court and made a point of strait-laced behaviour. Albert also gave a more conservative tinge to Victoria’s politics. If Victoria was to insistently interject her opinions and make her views felt in the cabinet, it was only because of Albert’s teachings of hard work.
The general public, however, was not enamoured with the German prince; he was excluded from holding any official political position, was never
granted a title of peerage and was named Prince Consort only after
seventeen years of marriage, (maybe that was for bringing the Christmas tree to Britain).




On Dec. 14th 1861 Albert died from typhoid fever at Windsor Castle,
Victoria remained in self-imposed seclusion for ten years. This genuine,
but obsessive mourning kept her occupied for the rest of her life and
played an important role in the evolution of what would become the
Victorian mentality.
Her popularity was at its lowest by 1870, but it steadily increased
thereafter until her death. In 1887 Victoria’s Golden Jubilee was a grand
national celebration of her 50th year as Queen. The Golden Jubilee brought her out of her shell, and she once again embraced public life.

Queen Victoria died on the 22nd of January 1901, at Osborne House Isle of Wright.
She was buried at Windsor beside Prince Albert, in the Frogmore Royal Mausoleum, which she had built for their final resting place. Above the mausoleum doors (this really touched me) are inscribed Victoria’s words: ‘Farewell best beloved, here at last I shall rest with thee, with thee in Christ I shall rise again’.

FOR YOU..

I'd like to take this opportunity to say 'thank you' to everyone who supported and advised me whilst a certain bad apple tried once again to cause me anguish and concerns. I had to smile at how many of you agreed with the great G-man. He is Mr Knowitall and his words were few, but straight to the point. I will try to follow his famous 'pearl' of wisdom.

I have decided to carry on blogging and I will watch out for any unwanted visitor prying into my comings and goings. All the appropriate authorities, as are you, are aware of my position, and I hope this will prevent further problems.

Like most bad apples, now that this one has been removed from the barrel, it will hopefully stop the rot.....

PUSILLANIMOUS.........

At this moment in time I'm not sure of my exact emotion. I hope you will be patient with me and read this to the end.

The Past

Have you or anyone you ever known experienced bulling? It’s a most frightful thing that can cause many problems, sleepless nights, anxiety to name but a few. It’s easy to spot the actions of a bully; they will hide behind a group encouraging them to pick on their chosen prey. This varies from name calling to outright removal of any self esteem the victim has.
I am surprised that this behaviour can exist in the blogsphere; cyber bullying is even more distressing, leaving you wondering where next your attacker will appear...

Firstly, many of my friends who visit me know how I came into the blogsphere.
After I thought that the trauma was over, there still remained one caustic blog. Mostly unattended, it would remain untouched except for the odd picture, accompanied with a weird reminder that they still wanted to cause me distress. One of these was to state that they were in close proximity of my home address. Scary stuff. These posted 'statements' and images were clearly the product of a delusional and sad bloggers mind, all intentionally directed at me, most obviously intended to cause hurt and pain.

Eventually, this offensive blog stayed dormant for several weeks. I wish I could describe the relief and elation I felt when the blog (with the statement that was a constant thorn in my side) had been removed.
I left well alone as the offending blogger appeared to have ground themself into a self obsessed standstill and I lived my life without the interruption of this emotional parasite.
I’d been the victim, (a title I will never allow again), of others actions and I had worked hard at holding things together whilst the vulture continued to pick at my wounded remains. My main aim was to hold close the ones I love and protect them from the holocaust of the abhorrent behaviour of this blogger.
However, I was either an eternal optimist or a naive dreamer that I could believe that someone’s manipulation of others, or even their childish exaggerations would cease.

The Present

As you know , since I have become house bound , only going out when Math or my wonderful friends take me, I started my blog building friendships and research for my sons design work, to help fill the time at home and improve my IT skills. Whilst doing this I came across a blog which contained some superb art work, and I shared a few pleasant comments with the author. I maintained this connection and then to my horror I realised that my past tormentor had also visited this site. How coincidental, or not, as the case may be...
I composed myself however and thought that the past is the past, and maybe they had grown up and were getting on with their life. (Well how foolish do I now feel for that thought?).

Whether by chance or fate, I was then made aware that they had become public with yet another blog. Obviously I viewed it, I was terrified that yet again the author of my past nightmares was on some quest to cause me more anguish.
As before, the blog has resurfaced like an unwelcome guest at a party. (You know the one, all crumpled and frump they turn up uninvited, consume your food and drink whilst grinding guests into a state of submission with there boring tales).

As I expected, the blog contained similar posts to the original, (of which I have both electronic and hard copies). On closer inspection, I saw that amendments had fortunately been made so that the blog could no longer be connected to me. Even the previous delusional posts and comments had been moderated or removed to resemble some form of reality. Some exaggerations of the truth remained, but hey! we all need a measure of fantasy in our lives. (Some obviously more than others). Indeed, some bloggers posts are completely fictional, causing no harm to anyone.
At first I felt at peace with this situation, and somehow it was good to see in many ways that it appeared that the individual concerned had moved on.
But no, as I very much anticipated, this site of fantasy was then removed and resurfaced as invitation only. I feel safe in the knowledge that this will undoubtedly be a small group, to which I am grateful not to be invited. Rather like Theodore Robert Bundy asking you round for tea as far as I am concerned.

Of course all bloggers have the right, and undoubtedly their own reasons for wanting to keep their blogs for invitees only. On this occasion I may even have been able to find validation in this bloggers action, had the said blog not openly exposed me and my family to yet another unwarranted attempt to bully.
Time is a great healer, yet it leaves scars, but with the resurrection of this blog and its author, I felt that the scars have been prodded to bleed again. The assailant fleeing, offering no First Aid or comfort.....

When I realised that they were free to view my blog, the pain and fear that they had caused in the past returned.
I spoke with others, and thanks to the sound advice of my blogger buddies, close family and friends on home base, I mulled this over for some time...................Not wanting to have my blog for invite only, I now moderate my comments, but if I thought that this was the end of matters, I was wrong.

The other evening whilst visiting the art blog mentioned earlier, I was confused as to what had been posted. The post stated that a friend of the blogger had had a ridiculous amount of visits to their blog from someone with an IP address from Nottinghamshire. (As you will know from my profile this is where I reside).
It was then that it became obvious that the 'ridiculous number of visits' stated was in fact my home house number. Now fearing that I was becoming paranoid because of past experiences, I showed this to my friend, who also considered that it was no strange coincidence and commented about how the post itself appeared to have undertones. I viewed this as yet another sad attempt to intimidate and bully me, was my home address to be exposed???

As a point of note, I myself have had an abnormally high numbers of visits from a particular UK located IP address, and it has not caused me concern; in fact, I was even flattered that my continual visitor might find my site interesting. I know that my bullying buddy will be looking, but I have nothing to hide; my blog is about my honest comings and goings. Isn't that what bloggings about sharing your views interest, with no intention of causing anyone any harm??

Still feeling very hurt and confused, the next day, to be sure I was not over reacting, I asked someone else to have a look at what had been posted. When they got to the site though they saw that the whole of the post had been withdrawn. As if that were not enough, the comments that I had made on previous posts had also been removed. My friend turned to me and said “well that sort of confirms your fears that the manipulator had been at work”. I began to think, was this another threat, was the person trying to dictate who I can visit and what I can say? Why select a fictitious number with such an obvious connection to me? Bullying, nuisance, annoying yes all of those.

The strange thing is I was really upset by this. I had done nothing to this blogger, I have not mentioned them in my blog, I have left them alone but here we were, hurled in front of a blogging kangaroo court with no chance to defend myself.
The removal of my previous comments, although childlike in its undertaking, appeared to have been some form of punishment to please their ‘friend’, adding insult to injury.

My emotion has as now turned to annoyance, that the hypocrite has yet again manipulated someone to believe their fallacious argument. They will undoubtedly have used the same tried and tested emotional out-pourings and distortions, becoming (yet again) the fictitious victim of so many wrong doings and crimes. (RADA really did miss out on this one).


Yes of course I went to the resurrected, offending blog, after the pain and hurt who could expect any other action? I have never sort to deny that I had visited their blog, indeed, if someone had in the past dowsed you in petrol, followed by a burning torch and then kept the flames ignited by throwing on any other poor sod who had passed their way, you would probably have done the same.
Surly its common sense that you'd protect yourself with a smoke alarm (gosh, visions the Joan of Arc flood my head).

Seriously though, the exaggeration of the number of visits made to their site shouldn't have surprised me. I should not have been taken back at the sheer duplicity of their attitude. They consider that they can attack and harass others as they feel, be it as small and probing as a comment on a dormant blog for month after month, or more blatant with manipulative lies that tear at the guts.

Yet should you dare to protect yourself, they get others to feel responsible for their welfare. Like all cowards, they have no cerebral strength, no fibre of the soul, no backbone. They cannot face others, but can only snipe and hide. They do though know the reality behind their toxic facade, and of course, 'at the length truth will out.'

I have mentioned in past posts, that discovering the blogsphere has opened up a whole new world for me. It has given me the ability to gain new skills and to meet some tremendous people, from whom I learn more daily also being part of Fridays 55 Flash Fiction is something I look forward to. So the hurt I first experienced with my unpleasant introduction to the blogsphere has turned into a precious gift for me, and I am trying to maintain this status- quo, despite the actions of this cyber bully.

The Future

I would like to end this rant with a simple request. Should any of my dear fellow bloggers find themselves approached by this manipulator, would you please, please let me know what is actually being stabbed into my back, so I at least have a chance to defend myself? Although I do feel over time, most of you have come to know me, and that you have seen that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Nevertheless, I will not again become the victim of bulling, be it cyber or any other kind. All I ask is a chance to CLAMP down on this utter nonsense. A cautionary note, should you be tempted into this persons lair, beware that they haven't a molecule of remorse or compassion.

Therefore I will try to publish posts of my life, loves and interests with pride for all to see. I have nothing to hide, can the same be said of the mentioned other????????????????? ?