FRIDAY FLASH FICTION 55, Famous Women

Come look sir, how juicy they are, tuppence a pair.
Squeeze them if you must.
Round and firm, a pound a box.

Greedy I'm not, I'd give my master the lot.
Who will buy my ware's???
My love will come with them, and I will be true.
Even give you a heir, maybe one or two...................





Pretty, witty Nell
"Pray good people be civil, I am the Protestant whore" was Nell Gwyn's cheeky retort to the masses pushing around her coach in the mistaken belief that it was that of the Duchess of Portland, the Catholic Louise de Keroualle.
'Pretty, witty Nell' was perhaps the best known and remembered mistress of King Charle's 11
She was one of many, there were 13 in all during his lifetime, (I've known a few men like that), but she was the least 'greedy' of them all. When he lay dying he begged his heir, the Duke of York, "not to let poor Nellie starve".
In her early teens, Nell Gwyn was engaged to sell oranges at the King's Theatre.


Her natural wit and complete lack of self-consciousness caught the eye of the actor Charles Hart and others, and Dryden wrote plays to exploit her talents as a comic actress.

She became Charles Hart's mistress, she called him Charles the First, and was then passed to Charles Sackville, Lord Buckhurst, whom she dubbed Charles the Second, and later the King, calling him her Charles the Third.
Lady Castlemaine (Barbara Palmer) had been Charles' mistress for many years when he became enamoured of Nell.
The rivalry between Nell, Lady Castlemaine, Frances Stuart, Louise de Keroualle, Lucy Walters, Moll Davis and sundry others made the King's life difficult at times!

Charles had 13 children by these 'ladies' and agreed to support the children he believed were his. He had doubts about some of Lady Castlemaine's children as he had caught her in a compromising position with John Churchill (known a few women like that also), later Duke of Marlborough. Lady Castlemaine's last child, born 1672 was acknowledged to be Churchill's.

Other ladies came and went - one Winifred Wells was a Maid of Honour. She was described as having the 'carriage of a goddess but the physiognomy of a dreamy sheep' !
Moll Davies, also an actress, had a child by the King. The child was known as Lady Mary Tudor. Moll was given, by the King, a house in Suffolk Street and a ring worth £600 before she fell from favour.
Nell was not greedy and grasping like her rivals, but did receive a house near Pall Mall and when she first knew the King, she asked for just £500 a year!
King Charles gave her a pension of £4000 a year from rents in Ireland and later another £5000 a year out of the Secret Service Fund.
Towards the end of 1669 Nell withdrew from the stage because she was pregnant. The child was a boy: however her other son, born two years later, died.
Unlike Charles' other mistresses, Nell never received a title herself, but by using clever tactics she obtained a title for her son.
"Come here you little bastard" she is reputed to have said to her small son in the Kings presence. The King was horrified, but as Nell asked, "what should she call him, was not bastard true?" The King immediately made him Duke of St. Albans!
When the King died in 1685 Nell's creditors descended upon her - she never did starve, but was in grave danger of being sent to a Debtors prison. She appealed to King James and to his credit, he settled her immediate debts and gave her a pension of £1500 a year.
James asked in return that her son should become a Catholic but James was to be disappointed.

Nell survived Charles by only two years and was only in her thirties when she died. She became a legend, the only royal mistress in English history to provoke popular affection.
"She would not", she told a hopeful suitor in her colourful language that was part of her charm, "lay a dog where a deer laid"!

Well what do you think of our Nell?????

Please excuse me if I don't get to visit everyones 55 until later in the week. I have some very important people coming to stay for the weekend, and, being that I work at a snails pace at the moment, I will be busy doing the stuff you have to do when having guests. Wishing you all a fabulous weekend, and I will post all about mine....

VODKA A TONIC...

Still trying to do ‘catch up’ on my posts after my absence over the other few weeks. So it was either a) post about my other friends nightmare, or b) the short break I had with Math. The surprise break won hands down, as it was unexpected and brought a smile to my face, where as my friends heartbreak still upsets me.
Math had to go to Brussels on business for five days, then onto Poland to tie up some lose ends on a project he is running over there. He has been to Poland several times and told me how wonderful it is, and promised to take me sometime in the future. The second day that he had been away, I received a phone call from him, "are you busy for the next few days?" "Oh yes absolutely hectic with my social diary bursting with activities," I sarcastically replied. "How about spending a couple of days here with me in Brussels, then four days in Poland, you up for it" he asked. “ Do bears poo in the woods" came my answer. It transpired that his business partner had to return home due to unforeseen circumstances, so all I needed was the fare on the Euro Star to Brussels and the airfare to Poland, which was incredibly inexpensive. Although Brussels boasts a buzzing atmosphere and now has the European Parliament, I unfortunately saw very little of it the two days I was there. Math had a very busy work schedule and I spent most of my time stuck in the hotel, although we did manage to squeeze in a visit to see the Manneken-Pis (small things amuse me, ha ha).
Poland was a completely different story, although I expected it to be cold, the warmth of the people we met whilst there more than made up for my chilled fingers and toes.
The city we stayed in was Poznan, a beautiful place with lots of history. Our hosts were kindness personified, providing transport, entertainment and food. I should also add vodka, everywhere you ate there was vodka and more vodka.
The first night we were taken to the restaurant 'Delicja', classical music playing gently in the background greeted us on our arrival. We were shown to our tables which were dressed in immaculate linen and a candle glowed proudly from its silver holder. The food and service was of such a high standard, I could write a whole post purely on that, but then I wouldn't have chance to mention the steaks the size of car tyres at 'Dom Vinkingow' (Viking House), no pretend fruit flies this time of year, or the meal for the true carnivores at Ratuszowa, eight different kinds of meat served on a platter for two. Our last day was spent at the Browar Pub. A word of warning Polish beer and vodka is like rocket fuel (handle with care).


Please don't think we just ate and drank, we managed to visit a few historical sights, but with my mobility being what it is this was mainly done by car. Math managed to take me inside the church, the interior was breathtaking. We had a morning at the Army museum, which is situated in the large park next to the war cemetaries. There is a large selection of the military hardware outside. I failed miserably trying to get into the T34 tank. The Old Town Square was wonderful, particularly the butting rams on the clock at midday, and whilst math went to finish off his business, I was shown around the Old Town Hall. There is a piano in there that they say was once played by Chopin.
Although our stay was short, I enjoyed every second of it, and we have promised to return in the very near future. So, vodka in my chilled glass - Na zdrowie. Vivat Poznan, thanks for a great time.