HOBSONS CHOICE....

Hi there! I have been home since last Thursday, having spent most of the days since then sleeping, one thing I know its so good to be back in my own surroundings. Tiredness seems to be my best buddie at the moment, and is forever calling me to spend time with it.

Maybe that I am still on 20mg Sevredol (morphine) four times a day could be one of the factors, and also I am told I did go through a bit of a bashing in the theatre. Although the doctors say I am doing incredibly well, I feel I should be doing more and I am surprised how much pain I'm still in, and how crap I feel............
Your positive thoughts though have performed miracles, I will give you a brief update on procedures so you can see why.

I was due to go in hospital on the 15th Sept at 7.00 in the morning, but on Sunday afternoon prior, just as we were serving up dinner my phone rang, could I please go in that evening.............

My appetite gone I packed my bags, made a few calls, and made my way to the hospital.
At 7.30 Monday morning Math is at the hospital helping me have a shower ready for my surgery, when the sister of the ward enters the room telling me that Dr Gorgeous is here wanting to have a word with me. So, with one towel wrapped around my body and one around my dripping hair, he entered the bathroom (you can imagine the scene can't you).... He then proceeded to remind Math and I how serious the op was and how unpredictable the outcome could be, his parting words being that I may be left without a hip-joint!!!!!!!
As he left the bathroom I tried to smile at Math, instead my lips quivered and tears poured down my face. After the hugs and the shock were dealt with, this was no time to get emotional, I pulled myself together and proceeded with my shower and getting ready for the operation.

All the time I was reassuring my racing heart and panicking thoughts with more positive scenarios. My friends and the powers that will be were pulling for me........ what will be will be........ I have the strength to do this.

Apparently I was in theatre for a long time and the surgeons went through a hard and strenuous time performing the impossible and unexpected on me.

At the end of the operation they were over the moon and came into the recovery lounge to tell me how well things had gone. They looked well chuffed with themselves. "Me", what can I say ,"relief spread down my body like a veil of silk and even I heard the sigh leave my lips floating into the air like a distant fear"...........

Gosh I'm fading already, my eyelids feel like ten ton weights, so I will try and whizz over the the next few days.
All I can remember is feeling terribly unwell the next day which became worse as the hours passed.
Memories of many doctors mumbling about infection, x-rays, scans, and blood gases and tests being carried out drifted over my bed, and all I wanted to do was sleep and for the pain to go away.

Eventually after all the tests scans etc had been carried out a large abdominal cyst was discovered and because of the trauma from the operation this had started to haemorrhage.

Decisions had to be made as whether to stop the anti-coagulant injections, should I go back to theatre for further investigations as to the seriousness of this blasted cyst. Mr Gorgeous came to my rescue yet again, and made these decisions for me. The size of the cyst was their biggest concern, although they couldn't confirm it hadn't any sinister sides with it. Dr Gorgeous was adamant that any surgery would completely wreck my hip and if the injections stopped a blood-clot could be far more fatal than internal bleeding.

So my very dear friends, I have to recover to the satisfaction of my wonderful doctor, then I will be going back into 'Queens' for removal of this little blighter whom I have named 'Hodson'. (It reminds me of a past irritant pain in my side.......)
So my dear friends thank -you for your wonderful well wishes and positive thoughts, sorry its taken till now to update you. With the hospital being so far from home Math was the taxi driver for my friends and family and visiting was 2pm till 8.30 leaving him little time to post. (He was emotionally exhausted as well, but he would never admit it).

Once I have gathered a little more energy and 20 hours sleep doesn't become the norm, I will be popping around to see how you all are, hopefully before I have to depart again.

This is absolutely unbelievable....... I was just about to publish this post and my phone rang. It was my G.P who told me that the blood tests the District Nurse had taken on Monday were back. I still have an infection and my white blood cells are not good. He said "due to the serious complexity of my case, he wasn't prepared to give me any medical advice over the phone. He was faxing Queens hospital as we spoke and I should be hearing from them".
So my lovely friends, I may be returning to Queens sooner than we thought and at this moment this is all I can tell you.
Please don't give up on me though, and keep sending me your healing, positive vibes. XXXX