ST GEORGES DAY

St Georges Day will never be the same to me. It will hold memories of sad times, sharing times, friends and family together.

Yesterday was my stepfathers funeral, and, although known always by the name "Doug" he was in fact baptised "George Douglas". Yesterday it was the patron saint, St Georges Day here in sunny, (it was yesterday), England. An opportunity to make Doug's final farewell unique and special - just for him.

All of us, and this included the vicar Alan, (a fantastic guy who helped more than I think he will ever know with my families grief), wore a red rose buttonhole, and many of the flowers sent to Doug were red roses. (Mine was a boomerang, which I will explain later).

As we followed Doug on his journey to the church his car looked amazing. I also don't feel I have to justify any monies spent on his floral tributes, as they were to be returned for display in St Edmund's Church, which would make good use of their beauty.

Doug had actually arranged most of his funeral, something that I take my hat off to him for, because that's no easy task for any person to do. It saved his loved ones from lots of heart breaking decisions, and we just added our bit to mark his memory with our own personal touches and love.

He had arranged his music, well two bits anyway with the third part a little harder to come by. He wanted "Cathy's Clown" by the Everly Brothers for his entrance, then "The Breeze and I" by Caterina Valenti, a song no one had heard (but thank goodness for the web), for his remembrance/committal.

He hadn't chosen a third for family and friends leaving the church, but we decided that we wanted the song he always whistled. We thought that it started "there's a certain sound", and eventually I got it. "Happy Heart" by Andy Williams.

Well I wish I could explain how right his and our choice sounded. It was "SUPERB". It really did make us think about him, the man, the teenager. I also loved the hymns he had picked and I sang my little head off to "O Jesus I have promised".

How do I encapsulate the day for you? Emotional/moving/defiantly special, yet none of these really sum it up, maybe sometimes words just aren't enough...

Oh yes! the Boomerang... As I have mentioned before Doug and I had some very rocky periods in our time, which I choose not to store now, its history and enough damage has been done throwing rocks /boulders/pebbles in the past. This last year Doug and I have made our peace and in someways I am envious that I never had what my sisters have lost with the death of their father (I hope that comes over as I mean it to).

I was with Doug until his last moment, held his hand and let him know that I loved him. The grief I have felt has shocked me. We knew he was ill, but this had all happened far quicker than anyone thought. I had visited him on Sunday at the hospital, we chatted about how we were going to celebrate his birthday on the 10th of May. With suckling pig roast it was to be a feast. We all wanted to make the most of the next few months.

We also chatted about Australia. Doug adored Australia and visited every year for months on end. He had many friends out there, but I think his love for his daughters and his grandchildren kept him here in England.

Now when I was in the flower shop with my sisters ordering their wreaths, I looked through the books and pictures, but none felt right for me. Although Doug and I had formed a new relationship, I wanted something to say it was from me, and to be honest and true. Then suddenly I had one of my great brain-storms, you know, the ones that friends and close family members have thought about having me tested for.
I thought the definition of a BOOMERANG is - to return to the place it came. So I had to say good-bye before we could meet again, start again, lessons learned.
I think I was the florists nightmare, but they did me proud, and a letter of thanks is on its way.

Well my friends, sorry that I'm not the blogger I was, and I touch Blogdom only now and again, but your kind thoughts and comments help me such a lot. Even if I don't post I pass by, and your comments give me strength.

Mum has taken Doug's death far worse than any of us thought, and she looked so fail and worried yesterday, so I'm sure you know who's on the top of my list at the moment.

The one thing that I can honestly say that I have learned from the recent events is, "never put off until tomorrow what you can do today". Need I say more??????????